Discoveries and Eulogies
by SofiaPolniaczek
Summary: Set immediately after Calling the Shots. Love and loss and the appearance of Olivia's past. Chapter 2 of 3 is up. Not sure if I'll make a sequel yet but this one WILL have three chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Sitting in the back of the cruiser that was flying through traffic with it's lights on Olivia Benson stared out the window, the tears had stopped due only to the shock she was in. They hadn't even went on an official date and now it seemed they never would, Amanda Rollins had died in Fin's arms and he didn't know if she had been revived. In the front seat Detective Tutuola had regained his senses and was worrying about the woman behind him and Nick was simply confused as to all that had happened, not only today but the recent events that had made his Sergeant react the way she had.

Entering the ER doors the three made their way to the desk, Nick decided to do the talking not sure the other two could.

"I'm Detective Nick Amaro, this is Detective Tutuola and our Sergeant Olivia Benson one of our officers was brought in about half an hour ago."

"Amanda Rollins? I'm sorry Detective but I can't tell you all anything not even your Sergeant, I can only release information to family."

"I understand but her fam.."

"I'm her spouse."

It was spoken so quietly neither men were sure they heard right, Fin had planned on explaining once Nick had went to sit down but apparently Liv didn't care anymore. Meanwhile Nick was shocked to see Olivia turn her phone to show a photo from what he assumed was the cab last night of his Sergeant lip locked with Rollins.

"In that case ma'am she is in surgery. I don't know much else but realistically it doesn't look good at all. I'm sorry I don't know more and as soon as she is out I will send the doctor over."

"Thank you."

Walking back to the seats at the far end of the room where it was quiet Nick decided not to mention anything he had just witnessed and instead offered to get coffee.

Three hours had passed since they had arrived when a very tired looking man in scrubs approached them.

"Sergeant Benson would you like to come with me to a quiet room, it might be best if your Detectives come with you."

All three solemn faces filed into the room behind the man.

"First let me introduce myself, I'm Kim Bradshaw head of surgery here, I specialize in cardiology, which is why I was called in. Now when the bullet entered Detective Rollins' chest it did miss her heart barely but it hit an artery, we lost her several times. However she is a stubborn little thing and she made it through after I repaired the damage and we gave her two transfusions. She made it but the next 24hrs will be crucial, until then we wont be out of the woods. To be safe we are keeping her sedated and in ICU so I will break the rules and allow all of you up to see her for two minutes but then only one can stay at a time due to infection risks."

Once again following the man that held Amanda's life in his hands they all quietly walked into her room. Olivia immediately hit her knees and held the small cold hand in her own. Fin kissed her forehead and went to rub the far haired woman's back the most he could do for Amanda was take care of Liv for her. Nick brushed her hair away and kissed her head also but he was the first to speak.

"Now Rollins I am trying to hold it together but you pull through this, I wanna hear from you how you got the boss. Love ya kiddo."

And with that he kissed the top of his bosses head also and told Fin he'd be in the waiting room.

"Hey Liv girl, I'm gonna step to the waiting room with Amaro if you need us just call. She'll make it she said to tell you she be late for dinner, I don't think she would miss it for the world."

That being said Olivia lost it again as the door closed, being careful to not stir the blonde she made her way into the bed beside her and cried herself to sleep. She never woke when the nurses came to check on Amanda and in turn they left her due to the fact it seemed the blonde woman responded positively to the touch.

Meanwhile in the waiting room two men sat with their heads together also asleep, though it was only 6pm the exhaustion had got to them, suddenly the older of the two felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Fin? What are you doing here is Ken okay?"

"Whoa if you aren't a sight for sore eyes. Ken's fine were here to support one of our own and Olivia. The love of her life it seems is in here fighting for their life."

"Oh Liv's here too, do you think she would be okay with me checking on her?"

"It may be just what she needs, they're in room six."

A knock on the door finally woke the brunette from her slumber and sleepily she beckoned the intruder in. As the door opened she saw what could only be a dream, the last person she ever expected was standing in the doorway of her lover's hospital room with a look of pain on their face, she wasn't sure if it was the scene before them or the anguish they felt for what could have been. Finally collecting herself she dryly spoke.

"Elliott?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Olivia. How is she?"

"They're keeping her sedated until tomorrow and then it's all up to her to pull through."

"She will Liv, I've never met her but somebody would have to be crazy to not make it if they had you waiting. I know I'm not your favorite person but how are you holding up?"

"Not good El, I don't want to lose her. It sounds dumb but we haven't even had a real first date. You don't seemed shocked by any of this. By the way I could never hate you."

"Well I did inc call myself the longest relationship you had with a man, looking back I think I knew then."

"Why are you here?"

"I noticed the cars out front as I was walking by and thought I might know who was in them, then when I saw Fin asleep on a young guys shoulder I was afraid Ken was hurt. He told me why they were here and where you were and I guess I'll always try to protect you."

"You're always going to feel that way I know I will. But for right now can you sit with Amanda I want to send the guys home and need to pee."

"Yeah no problem. Congrats on the promotion Sergeant Benson."

Turning to leave Olivia stole one last look at the man she thought had once held her heart and the young woman she knew now did. After making the boys leave promising to call the moment anything changed she relieved herself and headed back to Rollins' room. Standing in the open doorway she listened and finally understood no matter how mad she was at him for leaving Elliot still cared and she swore he would always have a place in her life. Without noticing their visitor he had taken the small pale hand into his own before speaking.

"I know you don't know me and if you know of me you probably don't care much for me, but the woman you have was my partner for 13 years and my best friend for just as many. She loves you in a way I wished she had loved me at one time, with all her heart. So do me a favor kid and pull through this, then maybe you both can come see the kids and I can tell you some embarrassing stories."

At that point Olivia crossed into the room and beckoned her old partner to her enveloping him in a hug. Finally she fully broke down in the arms of the man who knew her better than anyone ever had.

"We will Elliot, until that moment I wasn't sure she would make it but now I know. Thank you."

"It's all true Live, all of it. I need to head home Kathy will be worried. If it's okay I think she might want to come see you tomorrow. I'll send her with some of my old sweats since I'll have to watch Eli."

"You're amazing and of course I would appreciate the company."

"Bye Olivia. And Liv I love you."

"You too El."

Two nurses appeared at that moment with blankets and pillows for the night.

"Her heart rate has increased and brain function is normal. I'm going to suggest the doctor wake her in the morning."

"Thank you, this waiting is horrible."

"I know Sergeant, if you need anything just yell."

And just like that Olivia was left to think about the events of the day. She had left for work thinking the worst that would happen all day was being interrupted during their morning activities and now the same heart she had just cone to begin to know was clinging to life. But Elliot had seemed to materialize out of no where if one miracle could happen maybe another could in the morning.

"Liv."

The sound was so small Olivia was sure she was dreaming but then she heard it again. Falling out of the chair that had been her bed last night she scrambled to her feet to look into the smiling and very much awake eyes of her lover.

"Baby you aren't supposed to be up, oh I better get the nurse."

"That's what I was thinking, ummm but first kiss me."

"My pleasure gorgeous."

"Mmmm. So that wasn't a dream nice. Now can you get me some pain meds?"

"Right."

Running out to the nurses station Olivia looked at the clock it was barely two in the morning and Amanda had woken on her own.

"Amanda Rollins is awake, she's awake."

"How? She should still be under sedation."

"I don't know how but she is."

Suddenly the entire staff it seemed ran to the blonde's room. Leaving Olivia in the hall, deciding they would want to know she started the phone chain by calling Fin first and giving him instructions to call Nick.

"Well Sergeant you do have your hands full with that one, seems her IV came out. But she seems stable so I am going to leave it and call the doc in. Go on in and be with her."

Walking back in Olivia kept running the nurses words over in her head sitting on the edge of the bed she remembered who else she needed to call.

"Hang on babe I need to make one more call."

"Hey Elliott I know it's late but she woke up so I'm going to head home and shower tomorrow. Yeah. Okay. Tell her thanks anyway. Of course soon as she is able. You too."

"So that really was Elliot Stabler in here talking to me. I thought it was in my head."

"Yeah, turns out he really likes you, or the fact that I'm happy. His wife wants us for dinner as soon as you recover."

"And what do you want Liv?"

"You to rest and cuddle with me so you can get out of here and take me to dinner. Fin said you'd be late which I hate but I'll let you slide this time Rollins."

"Gee whiz Sergeant, thanks for bein so understandin of my reasons."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: I normally don't post an author's note, but I think I should clear up a few things. I thoroughly believe while Elliott did severely hurt Olivia, their relationship runs so deep it wouldn't take much to repair it. Also I have a soft spot for Stabler even though I definitely like to believe Liv to be gay he is her soul mate. That being said I don't think soul mates always come in the form of a spouse, while happily married to my wife my nephew is my soul mate in the way of we can read each others feelings from one look. That is Liv and El's connection. Okay so on with the story.**

One week later Olivia pushed the wheelchair holding her fiery little blonde.

"Liv I can walk dammit. I'm not an invalid."

"And I know that but they won't let you leave not in a wheelchair."

"Fine."

If her attitude now was any indication of how the next three weeks would go Olivia was in for a hell of a time. To speed track Amanda's recovery so she could go back to work they had given the brunette a list of do's and don'ts. Do walk everyday easing to a jog, do eat well, don't stress, and the one thing Olivia was most sure would be difficult with the blonde staying with her until she was healed, no sex!

"I brought your truck since it rides smoother than my car. I found the keys in your desk. Now the question is do I look as sexy driving it?"

"Mmmm even more so."

"Alright now arms around my neck troublemaker and I'll lift you in."

Feeling herself being lifted out of the chair and safely into the older woman's arms, Amanda took in the moment of the muscles of the arms one against her back the other under her knees.

"Wait a minute darlin."

"Am I hurting you?"

"No, not at all opposite actually. Just being here feeling your strength I'm kinda turned on so kiss me before I break a couple rules and several laws Sergeant Benson."

Wasting no time Olivia took the blonde's mouth with her own taking her lower lip in between her teeth letting it go with a pop.

"Now let's get back to my place so I can give you a sponge bath little missy."

Deciding she had to pay the brunette back for all she was doing Amanda slid over to the middle as the truck pulled out into the snowy evening. Slowly she undid Olivia's belt and the button on her jeans, glad she had went with her boyfriend cut jeans for the day. Reaching inside she also found she had went with her old boxers the blonde would love to sleep in. As the blonde had discovered only the night before the shooting Olivia may be all woman at work but at home she was anything but girly. Starting her slow torture of the older woman's body the blonde decided to make conversation.

"So I have a question?"

"Mmm anything you want to know."

"Does it bother you?"

"Which, your fingers on me or your teeth on my throat or the fact I'm trying to drive?"

"Mmm I love you saying things like that. But seriously I mean the age difference?"

"No it definitely doesn't bother, ahhhh, me. Babe you're gonna have to stop I don't think I can handle more than one driving. Why would it bother me I don't think anyone my age would be able to keep up with me. Does it bother you?"

"Nope, just with you havin to put up with all my shit and now takin care of me I was afraid it did. To be honest, don't get pissed, but it's kinda like being in school and I get to screw the hot teacher on her desk."

"No definitely not offended but it's gonna be awhile before we can do any screwing around, I shouldn't even have let that happen earlier. Here we are let me take your things up and unlock the door I'll be back down to get you."

"Liv, let me walk. I promise I'm okay. Now take me up to our home Sergeant Benson."


End file.
